The Story Behind "I Want to Be Near You"

If you've ever seen me play live, you may have heard me tell this story. There was a time last spring where the ministry was pretty busy, all at once. Lots of travel. North Carolina...home...Bedford, PA...home...Bedford, PA, again...New Jersey...and then home. That's a lot of wear and tear on an adult (it was), but on kids who need consistency in their schedules it was really tough. And as you might expect after having kids sleep in a different bed every night for six nights, there was some sleep-related fallout. Morgan made an appearance at the foot of our bed at about 11:00pm. Anyone who knows us well will recall that there have always been sleep issues with Morgan, so let's just say I have some "sleep baggage." Any threat to my sleep does not generate positive feelings in me! He wanted to sleep on the couch, which is odd because he would still have been alone, and on a less cozy piece of furinture. So, grumpy as I was after just getting to sleep, I calmly said "no" to the couch idea and carried Morgan back to his bed and scratched his little back once again. When he was safe and sound back in his bed, I left him and went back to mine.

At 11:30 Morgan appeared another time. I was beginning to see where this was headed. He still wanted to sleep on the couch, and this time I was pretty irritable. I carried him firmly back to his bed, saying something warm and fatherly like, "Why can't you just lie awake in your own bed!" I'm sure it filled his heart with comfort to hear a soothing remark like that. And that's when he came back with a reply that caught me off-guard and stopped me in my tracks. This is what he said.

"I just want to be near you."

Wow! It was one of those moments where you realize something important was just said. Something profound. So I was no longer able to carry him back to his bed. I said, "Just being here on the couch is good enough?" He told me that even being on the couch, half way between our rooms, was good enough. I asked him if it was okay that I went back to my bed, and he said it was. So that's what we did.

And it showed me two things. First, I need to be careful with my boys. Being near me is really that helpful? Yup. You know, it's so easy to say or do something that can crush them, and I might not even notice. This night served as a reminder for me of how precious and delicate are these kids God has given to me. I need to take much more care before I complain about the messes, the inconveniences, the sleep loss - whatever it might be - and consider what I want them to know. I want to them to know that they are loved, accepted, and valued. I don't want them to get the idea that they are a bother to me, because although kids bring with them a good helping of difficulty, having little people around who love me so much is of infinite value. The other thing it showed me is that I need to have this very same attitude when I approach God. How often do I consider my devotional time as an exercise or an item on my To-Do list? I should be approaching God, my heavenly Father, in the same way, just wanting to be near Him and be in His presence. I need to remember that being near Him is enough...enough for whatever may come. That's where my strength, my guidance, my comfort all come.

I know Ernie will give me a hard time for bragging on my kids, as he says. Sorry, Ernie. I'm learning more than they are, it seems.