Silly Songs for My Kids

I am a musician.   I'm good, but not the world's best musician in any category.   I sing, I play sax, and keyboards, and I write my own music.   I am also a music teacher.   I'm not the world's best partly because I was lazy about my music when I was young and had the time to actually practice and develop my skills.   But, even so, I have had the chance to sing lead for some good bands, earn a Master's in my field, direct choirs, and develop a Christian music ministry that is reaching a lot of people, thanks to God.

 

Even though I'm not the world's best, I think I have a musical brain.   I almost always have music going on in my head, no matter what I'm doing, and I understand music when I hear it, if it's a type I'm familiar with.   I can also create music.   I've created some serious music, and some crazy music.

 

Some of my most insane music has been for my kids.   I think I'm not alone in this.   I think many of you sing stupid songs for your kids, too.   I wanted to share some of my stupid songs with you.   Maybe it will help you feel that you're not so much of a freak after all, or possibly just that I am one.

 

Song # 1.   “Morgan.”   Written in the shower to keep my first son from fussing.   Should be sung with a peppy Swing beat.   Shouldn't all music be sung that way?   No, it shouldn't.

 

 

Song #2.   “Bathtime for Morgan.”   Created on a camping trip.   This one is Country.   I hate Country, but what are you gonna do?   Both variants of the song are included.

 

 

Song #3.   “Look At My Belly.”   Probably the most insane.   This is to be sung quasi-opera style.   I impersonate a lyric soprano in my best falsetto.   The song evolved because, for a while, after every meal our son wanted to show us his belly that was so full.   Obviously (to him) we would see how full it would be, and we would be impressed.   Little did he realize that a big, round belly is not highly prized after all.   This went on for a mind-numbingly long time, and a lovely piece of classical music is the result.   Well, it's definitely a piece of something.

 

 

Song #4.   “Water First and Then Juice.”   We're a little health obsessed in our house.   One of the things we consider important is getting our kids to drink water and not just juicy punchy stuff.   So this song evolved to enforce and remind of our house rule.   Rules are so much easier to follow when sung to a peppy, Swing beat!   I think people in criminal justice should think about this.   Tax fraud, arson, assault…we'd be so willing to forsake them all, given the right theme song.

 

 

Song #5.   “Bartlett Pears.”   This is the latest in our collection.   Our second son enjoys eating squished up pears.   The jar calls them Bartlett pears so we think they carefully hand select the fruit before mashing it into a paste.   They're Bartlett pears, you know, not random pears of any variety.   I just hope there aren't too many rat claws ground up in there, too.   But sleep deprivation and a love of cheesy 50's style commercial jingles gave birth to this.

 

 

So, there is our collection of insanity.   I don't know if you have the means to display your own works of art, but I hope you enjoyed ours.   If you are able, I would love to see what you have created for your own children.

 

And don't even think about stealing these.   That means you, Mariah Carey.   These are MY songs!   Mine!

Comments

[Dave]

I'm embarrassed to say that I had a whole repertoire of songs I used to sing to our two dogs. Now, my impromptu music is much more respectable as it is directed at Caleb Scott. Never committed them to sheet music, though. That's an idea...